We've all been there. It's Monday morning, your alarm's been going off from across the room for the fifth time in last half hour but your liver is still two bottles of Goose deep from last night’s festivities. Suddenly you remember you have a presentation at 8am. Omg. Okay maybe we haven’t been "there" exactly, but if you've ever found yourself in a situation where you need to sober up asap, then these tips are for you.
Time heals. Amazingly this not only related to missing a sale at Balmain or someone eating the last slice of pizza, it can also apply to liver function. The surest and safest way to sober up is to sleep it off. But should this not be an option try the following…
First thing’s first, you're going to want to step away from the booze. At this stage you may have the thirst of a hundred camels but resist the urge to reach straight for water and instead choose a sugary drink that preferably contains some form of fructose. Go for juice, Cola or Pepsi and Orangina (or cream soda if you're in South Africa). Remember alcohol depletes the body of hydration and sugar so you’ll want to replace and replenish, besides the combination of sugar and water be it in soda, coffee or fruit juice helps you to work the alcohol out your system safely in the intended way. You see, some people are truly gifted and able to immediately down two litres of water in one go, this is not a feat to be attempted by mere mortals like myself as it has the potential to cause nausea thus expelling alcohol in the unintended way i.e last night's McDees all over your immediate surroundings and/or innocent bystanders and pets. So, getting that sugary drink into your system is key to helping you hydrate in bulk as soon as possible.
Read Alcohol that won’t make you gain weight.
Have a work out. At this point you may be questioning my sanity if you haven’t already done so numerous times before however a quick run on the treadmill will metabolize alcohol, making it pass through your system way faster so go sweat it out. Either way it’s good for balancing out those liquid calories.
Make charcoal pills and vitamin C part of your survival kit. I’m at the stage of my life where going for a wild night of partying does in fact require a survival kit for the next day so it makes sense to include Vitamin C or a multivitamin which fast tracks the sobering up process and charcoal will soak up the remaining alcohol.
Try eating a meal containing protein and carbs or having a cold shower. The thing about eating during a night out is that even though you may feel sober or better afterwards it hasn’t really worked anything out of your system, it simply acts as a buffer so you feel a bit better about life. A similar principle applies to a cold shower, you may feel more alert but it hasn’t treated the root of the problem.
On a more serious note, please drink responsibly. If you feel like you’re having one too many benders or or your love of alcohol is only matched by your lack of willpower when it’s in your vicinity. These are some numbers that you can call anonymously for support.
0861 435 722
050 781 3861
050 579 2874
Read: A Rookies Guide to Red Wine.